I offer to you: TRANSLATION FROM SEGAPRSPEAK TO PESSIMISTIC GAMER:
Sonic Colors sees Sonic accelerating to adrenaline-pumping super speeds and blasting through obstacles in ways never before seen in a Sonic game.
This means that the game will be zoomed in too far to quite see what you're doing all the time, while also hinting at "amazing" graphics via QTE-triggered cutscenes for the entire duration of your time at the controller.
The alien Wisps featured in the game each have a unique "Color Power" that, once freed, Sonic is able to absorb while speeding through the various theme park inspired planets.
There will be no meaningful storyline, and what you're wondering happened in other games will go unexplained for years to come!
The Wisp energy enables Sonic to create new paths through the stages by drilling through the ground (Yellow Drill) for example, or speeding through the stage as a laser (Cyan Laser).
Further, instead of directly make a sequal to other games whose mechanics we're hinting at, like you've been wanting for years and years, we're going to insult you're intelligence by expecting you to believe we made something new!
Stringing the Wisp power-ups together creates a combo that increases Sonic's boost gauge even more quickly. Exclusive Wisp power-ups will be available for both Wii and the Nintendo DS versions, ensuring a unique and super speedy gameplay experience for Sonic fans everywhere."
We will do everything in our power to make sure that this game is extremely difficult to chart, and there will be infinite combos everywhere, making Score Attacking into an absolute joke beyond anyone's comprehension of possibility! This is to ensure that people who love and enjoy taking our games to the next level will cry and be shunned by the neo-fans who are often more likely to burp than cheer when patted on the back, due to their infantile nature we enjoy so very very much!
